Why Do We Compare Ourselves To Others?

              Why do we feel the need to compare our everyday selves with others? What makes us do that to ourselves all the damn time? Most people would argue that we live in a digital age that makes people only post the good in their lives. So all we see is a perfect glimpse of who they are and not the whole life. Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat all of these platforms do serve this purpose if THAT IS WHAT YOU USE THEM FOR.  I use mine to stay in contact with people and to make Mom’s Night Out posts, because let’s be honest sometimes you need something in your week.

Here is my thing, I am 36 years old. Yes I grew up on thecuff of the digital age, I had a landline computer in my room and was a seniorin college when Facebook was first launched. In high school I had no onetelling me that I was less than anyone else except for media. Magazines, booksthings like that and I still felt less than most of the time. I was letting theworld tell me who I was or what I was supposed to be without looking at myselfand asking who I needed to be. I was well into my 20s before I could reallylook around and say fuck you to a society that constantly wanted me to competewith everyone else. In most every day I see all the little things that point to:

 “Here you need to buythis to be better than him.”

 “Be envied for your car/house/wife!! Just buy this pill!!”

It is pure madness!! I for one refuse to be used like that anymore. I am very comfortable with who I am as a person at this point and will try to raise my son with a voice in his head saying he is always enough.

I read a book the other day that was amazing. It was 46% Better Than Dave by Alastair Puddick. I won’t give it all away but the basis is this guy keeps comparing himself to his new next door neighbor. He makes this ridicules list in a spreadsheet and proceeds to tally it up to see who is “better” than the other. It ends up that the other guy comes out ahead and now he feels bad about his life.  He tries to change everything and now you need to read the book to find out more. I will say it was a very well written book that took a good look at what can be wrong with society today without taking to a dark space.

Have you ever wondered who really cares what you have? Iknow we see people brag about what they have or do but who honestly cares? Hereis what I see when I am faced with all their Instagram perfect. Ready????

I see people just like me who have made it a priority intheir lives to show it a certain way. And if that is the way they want to do itthen they should. Now, don’t come to my page looking for that level ofcommitted. Nope nope nope. Not going to happen. You will find the mess, doghair and dirt that happen every damn day in our house. That is just who I am asa person. I will show you my life but I am not going to polish it for you. Soif you want household cleaning or decorating ideas I am not your girl!

Now what if we stopped caring about what other people thought and started caring about big societal problems? Hang out here with me a second. What if instead of caring about the couple on Insta whom you have never meet going on that trip that looked “amazing” we focused our energy to making our beaches here look amazing? What if instead of following people that have the perfect home we start having real conversations about the homeless in our towns? Don’t get me wrong, I love looking on Instagram and Facebook as much as anyone but I know way to many people that use the platform as a way to make others feel bad and themselves look perfect. And that shit needs to stop.

Do me a favor please? Next time you start getting envy fromsomeone you have never meet in real life do this instead:

  1. Put your phone down
  2. Get out a pen and paper
  3. Make a list of all the good you have in your life
  4. Stop and really look around you
  5. Go find a cause that sets your heart on fire andwork on it.

2 thoughts on “Why Do We Compare Ourselves To Others?

Add yours

  1. I try to be real. Haha. I post dog hair, my own crazy hair for a laugh, my messy house, my messy life & BEHOLD somebody gonna say, “Gawd, all she does is whine, complain, & post negative stuff.” Haha.

    I assume they have the freedom to stop looking at my posts, yet they don’t.

    Maybe, just maybe, somebody sees my crazy posts & thinks, “Yeah, her life isn’t perfect either & feels better about themselves.”

    I don’t follow perfect people posts! I like to see the mom posting hilarious stuff her weird kid done that day, or a photo of her hair that actually scared her when she walked in the bathroom that morning. DOG HAIR! YES, yes, yes ! The mess your dog, cat, kid, husband made …. POST IT GIRL! Lol.


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